hootenanny for haiti

my pain is self chosen
at least i believe it to be
i could either drown
or pull off my skin and swim to shore
now i can grow a beautiful shell for all to see.
mad season, river of deceit

i've said it before, and pardon me while i say it again, but i LOVE living in seattle. what i witnessed last night at the showbox is reason number 25433 why. or reason number 1, i can't decide which.



you know that feeling that you get before a show you've been looking forward to FOREVER? that feeling of nervous anticipation, like butterflies in your stomach? yeah, i kind of love that feeling. and i had it all weekend. i wish that i had a good camera that could really capture what the stage looked like at the showbox - there were a couple of big couches, some stools, some music stands, and a lot of candles. basically, it was like a living room. and right above where i was standing, there were microphones pointed at the crowd.

according to wikipedia, a hootenanny is an informal, festive performance by folk singers, often including audience participation. that's really the best way to describe the night. all the musicians - too many to count, but i'll try: mark pickerel, kim virant, kristen ward, duff mckagen, jeff rouse, tim dejulio, mike mccready, star anna, gary westlake, chris friel, matt cameron, and other people i'm forgetting - sat on the couches with their instruments and each came up front one at a time to sing a song while the rest played along. mike did a rolling stones song, for example, kim virant sang neil young, mark pickerel did tom petty, star anna sang a FATASTIC version of what i think is an otis redding song (watch me be embarrassed that i'm wrong) which makes me want to immediately run out and purchase her records, and etc...

a definite highlight was when kim warnick, formerly of the fastbacks, came out and sang belinda carlisle's song just like heaven. i can't believe i'm admitting this, but i knew literally every single lyric to that song. somehow the music pulled that out of the deepest recesses of my brain. it's sort of frightening to think about what portion of my mind is made up by song lyrics. plus, she made a somewhat dirty joke when she said she had come out of retirement "only for one night.. and that's what she said."

brad, who i wrote about in my last post and who will be playing at the showbox in april (!!), played buttercup. and i suppose this is as good a place as any to write about shawn smith coming out later to sing crown of thorns with mike, stone, et al. despite the guy singing off-key in my ear (or, heck, maybe because of him - he sure seemed to know all the lyrics to EVERY song and his enthusiasm was kind of infectious), i don't think i'm exaggerating to say that this was one of the best moments, musically or otherwise, i have experienced since seeing pearl jam in philadelphia last october. SERIOUSLY.

... but only one of the best. another of those moments was to be had at this show when mike, duff and jeff rouse (who i also now feel the need to find out more about) played the mad season song river of deceit. the song that i quoted at the beginning of this post. the song that i remember first hearing on the pearl jam radio show self pollution radio in 1995, sitting in my bedroom listening to with the volume low so that my mom and dad wouldn't hear. earlier tonight, i found a video of this song on youtube, and i told myself i would only watch it once.. well, now it's 2 and a half hours later, and i've been pretty much listening to it nonstop. seriously. and i have an overwhelming urge to dig out above, the mad season record. perhaps the best thing i can say about this entire show is that it makes me want more. i want to listen to mad season for the first time in about 10 years, i want to go see brad in april, i want to hear more of star anna's (and kim virant and mark pickerel, and everyone else honestly) music, i just want. music.

here's that video of river of deceit

it's only a matter of time

thanks to the person who commented on my last post, i now feel re-energized to get back to blogging. we'll see how long this lasts...

i do have something to write about, namely the satchel reunion show i went to at the crocodile cafe last week. satchel is a band that i didn't really know anything about, honestly, until pearl jam posted a link on their website about their upcoming show. i was curious, so i did some digging and found out that the singer for satchel was none other than shawn smith from brad. shawn smith's voice is, i think, really amazing, unique and powerful. so i immediately decided that i'd go. what the heck. i love music, and i love playing six degrees of pearl jam. (that's how i've found some of my favorite bands: sleater kinney, goodness, death cab for cutie.. but i digress).


the show was great. from watching a few live satchel videos on youtube, and of course also from listening to brad, i knew that my favorite songs were the ones that shawn played on keyboard. so i positioned myself right in front of that for the show.

the setlist mostly included heavier songs, a few of which i recognized, most of which i did not. the highlight for me was when shawn came out solo for the encore and sat down at the keyboard for buttercup. it sounded like the whole audience was singing along with him when he got to the chorus: it's just a matter of time..."

speaking of brad, they are going to be playing at the showbox in april (!!) and speaking of the showbox, i will be in attendance this sunday night for the "hootenanny for haiti" which features, among others, mike mccready and matt cameron of pearl jam. (and also kim virant, who i adore). and speaking of pearl jam, i am going to ireland in june to see them in dublin and belfast. and to spend two weeks traveling around a country i have always wanted to see. who knows, i might even run into glen busking on grafton street. tee hee.

i love music.

i can feel like i have a soul that has been saved

cut to later, now you're strong
you've bled yourself, the wounds are gone
it's rare when there is nothing wrong
survived and you're amongst the fittest
love ain't love until you give it up
riding high amongst the waves
i can feel like i have a soul that has been saved
i can see the light coming through the clouds in rays
gotta say it now, better loud than too late.
pearl jam, amongst the waves

what better way to get back to blogging than to write about the pearl jam show i saw in philadelphia last week? it's been three days now, and what i saw is still setting in. for all of the nights as a pearl jam fan that i've sat in front of my computer watching setlists and kicking myself in the head for not being there... well, finally, i was.

many of my most memorable life experiences have had something to do with this band - from my first concert in 1996 to flying across the country by myself to sitting in a bar with people i wouldn't know if it weren't for our shared love of pearl jam. and now high up on that life experience list will be standing outside the spectrum on a cold saturday afternoon in philadelphia with my ear pressed against the wall listening to PJ soundcheck pilate and out of my mind.

it was sometime during the middle of corduroy when i looked around and watched all the people who were clapping that i realized that this experience was worth every single penny i spent and headache i had in getting to philadelphia. no words that i write can describe the feeling i had inside the spectrum on saturday - it's like there was an electricity in the air and i wish i could somehow figure out how to have that feeling with my forever. it was a mixture of sadness, happiness, hope, and love. (just like every good pearl jam song). as i was telling someone today, before going to this concert i had absolutely no emotional connection to the wachovia spectrum - (in fact, i really only knew of it from all the time i spent on its website checking to see if tickets to this show had been released) - but by the time pearl jam played rockin in the free world and streamers and balloons were released from the rafters, i was crying. even days later, i have no desire to read other people's reviews of this show - i don't want anything to cloud my memories; i want them to stay mine forever.

so here are some of my other personal highlights from the show:

pilate - "this will fall into the category of stuff we hardly ever play or have never played and probably never will again. at least in this building." for me, what makes this song is the third verse - "stunned by my own reflection/looking back sees me too clearly/and i swore i'd never go there again." and i swear that at the end of the song, ed said something like, "given the encouragement, we'll play a lot of f*cked up stuff tonight." ha! that's for sure...

out of my mind - speaking of weird and random songs. it started with eddie telling a story about some mystery person who would give a large donation to something if only pearl jam would play this song, which isn't really a song at all, but an improv from a concert in 1994. 1994 also happens to be the year that i really started getting into PJ to the exclusion of everything else. i remember buying a copy of the not for you single that had this as a b-side, and listening to it over and over.

bugs - my seat for this show was on stone's side, about 5 rows up. i've never sat on the side of the stage like that, and it was pretty cool to be able to see the guitar techs, sound guys, band, etc.. were up to when they came offstage. i was also able to see every time someone took out what i assume is a stand for lyrics, and i knew that probably meant that something kind of rare was about to happen. so i saw that come out, and then i saw ed putting on an accordian and i kind of felt like i was dreaming. so cool.

amongst the waves - this was one song that i was hoping they'd save for tonight. after some initial reluctance, it has easily become my favorite track on backspacer. you know when ed sings "i can see the light/coming through the clouds in rays"? something about the combination of his voice and the music makes me want to close my eyes and live in that moment forever.

i'm open - can i count the number of times i have fallen asleep while listening to no code, and particularly this song? (and i mean that in a good way). actually, no, i don't think i can. no code remains my favorite pearl jam album precisely because of songs like this - songs that make me want to cry and smile and laugh and yell all at the same time. even after all these years, to me eddie's voice is a major force in my life; from the first time i heard him when i was 12 years old sitting in front of my television in bangor, maine, to now when i am almost 30 years old, it has not lost its power to make me feel at home.

rockin in the free world - "let's do this." it was during this song that the balloons and streamers were released from the rafters. the house lights came on, and there are simply no words to convey how awesome it was to be in the crowd, and to feel like i was sharing something really special and private with not only the band but all the people in the audience. for all the bad things one can say about the spectrum (it was confusing to find your way around, going to the bathroom during the break after the opening band literally took me half an hour because it was so crowded i couldn't even move), looking around at the crowd during the show literally made me cry from happiness. and i will not soon forget the expressions of joy that i could see and feel on the band's faces even from my seat.

there were so many moments from this night that will stay with me forever, and when i close my eyes i can still see them and can feel like i am there. what i saw is still settling in my mind, and i'm not sure that it will entirely sink in for awhile. from eddie coming out with boxing gloves, to jeff singing sweet lew while eddie dribbled a basketball, to the band dressing as devo and playing whip it, to mike playing the star spangled banner as a send-off to the spectrum, i am left with some awesome memories that make me want to nothing but dance around my house with a great big smile on my face.
















*edit: i totally can't believe i forgot lowlight and smile! sheesh! i have only been waiting since 98 to hear lowlight live. idiot, megan. please forgive me for my oversight pearl jam. now please play hard to imagine the next time i see you.

i want to live my life with the volume full

pearl jam, seattle (9/21 and 9/22) and portland (9/26)

i have seen this band live every tour since my first show in augusta, maine in 1996 and, while it's impossible for me to objectively rate their live performances (as an example, any other show i see, no matter how mindblowingly awesome, automatically ranks below every pearl jam concert), the three shows i saw last month have to be up there as among some of the best i've witnessed.

i've been trying to write about these concerts for 2 weeks, and nothing i can put on paper has come close to describing how i really feel. i'll try starting at the end this time: as a i type this, i am looking at the new picture frame next to my computer that contains a ticket stub and eddie vedder's guitar pick. in portland, my fanclub seats were in the 3rd row but, as it turned out, there were no seats in front of ours. so, basically we were in the front row. at the end of yellow ledbetter, in what is easily one of the best musically-related experience of my life, eddie pointed at me and handed me his pick. that moment was one that i won't forget, and i think the surreal feeling i had about the whole thing pretty much sums up these shows. for me, music is so much more than a fun diversion; it is honestly an essential part of my life. and days like this remind me just how true that is.

i'm not exaggerating when i say that there were multiple moments in all 3 of these shows that literally made my heart want to leap out of my body. i think it's pretty amazing that happens even after 16 years. i've had so many great pearl jam experiences this year, from seeing eddie in tennessee and hawaii to listening to backspacer with hundreds of other people on release day at easy street. yeah, i'm a pretty lucky girl.

feel the sky blanket you with gems and rhinestones

see the path cut by the moon
for you to walk on
pearl jam, unthought known


(the picture is a mural on the outside of easy street records in seattle)

i know i've been MIA for awhile - there have been a bunch of things i've wanted to write about, namely the flaming lips concert, and the band at bumbershoot whose guitarist was wearing a green river shirt.

but.. forget all of that. i am so excited about the new pearl jam album! it comes out sunday, but i got mine yesterday from the tenclub. i listened to it once last night, and all day today at work i was thinking, "man, i want to go home and listen to that CD again." it is an understatement to say that it is good. i honestly wasn't expecting to like it, much less to be blown away by it, since i haven't really been crazy nuts about a pearl jam record in about 10 years. (that is not to say that i haven't been completely won over every time i have seen them live. i have. that's why they've continued to be my favorite band. no musicians can come close to making me feel the way this band makes me feel. anyway).

maybe some of this is the newness of the record, but i haven't felt this excited about music in quite awhile. backspacer (i didn't like that name at first, but it has grown on me) has fast songs, it has slow songs and it has those gigantic pearl jam songs that make me want to cry and smile at the same time. all in 36 minutes. i'll write more about this record after i've had a while to digest it. there's a lot more here than what is on the surface, that's for sure.

and i'm going to see them 3 times next week! monday and tuesday in seattle and saturday in portland (well, near portland). i can't wait!

i'm feeling the pull...

some random notes on a sunday evening...

1. a friend told me about this thing called pandora radio, and i have been having way too much fun with it this week. you can make your personalized radio stations based on bands that you like. for instance, i have a pearl jam station, a minus the bear station, an REM station, a frames station, and an afghan whigs station. the whole thing is based on something called "the music genome project" which groups music that is similar, and so stations play artists that are relatively alike. my minus the bear station plays tons of band of horses and postal service (you can also tell it which songs you like, so that it plays those bands more often); and my REM station plays u2, wilco and radiohead. in short, i enjoy it and it's cool to have a visual aid that shows me how many of the bands i like sound like each other. it's a good way to pass the time until the new pearl jam album is released. :)

2. on tuesday, i went to see the cave singers at easy street where they did an in-store performance for the release of their new record. their songs are good for listening to on a cold, rainy night, and i am finding the singer's voice quite comforting. looking at their tour schedule, they are playing at bumbershoot and then again at neumos in october. i think i might have to be there.

3. i don't know why i didn't see this sooner, but i literally dropped everything i was doing when i read that the swell season did a set for npr's
tiny desk series and that video was online. i recommend that you do the same and watch it immediately. although, having said that, i must also say that i am a little underwhelmed by the "new" (many of which they played in concert last year) songs (save low rising and feeling the pull. i've listened to that one about 5 times). however, it is great to see them together again, and i am loving that glen is still playing his beat-up guitar. and i have missed hearing him say "brilliant." plus, they play an absolutely stunning version of when your mind's made up. i mean, wow. and, it's awesome to see their little sidelong glances and grins. i love watching musicians who are obviously loving playing their music. it makes me happy.

however, i will also say: dear swell season, please play in seattle. preferably at the moore theatre. love, megan

the waiting drove me mad