i can feel like i have a soul that has been saved

cut to later, now you're strong
you've bled yourself, the wounds are gone
it's rare when there is nothing wrong
survived and you're amongst the fittest
love ain't love until you give it up
riding high amongst the waves
i can feel like i have a soul that has been saved
i can see the light coming through the clouds in rays
gotta say it now, better loud than too late.
pearl jam, amongst the waves

what better way to get back to blogging than to write about the pearl jam show i saw in philadelphia last week? it's been three days now, and what i saw is still setting in. for all of the nights as a pearl jam fan that i've sat in front of my computer watching setlists and kicking myself in the head for not being there... well, finally, i was.

many of my most memorable life experiences have had something to do with this band - from my first concert in 1996 to flying across the country by myself to sitting in a bar with people i wouldn't know if it weren't for our shared love of pearl jam. and now high up on that life experience list will be standing outside the spectrum on a cold saturday afternoon in philadelphia with my ear pressed against the wall listening to PJ soundcheck pilate and out of my mind.

it was sometime during the middle of corduroy when i looked around and watched all the people who were clapping that i realized that this experience was worth every single penny i spent and headache i had in getting to philadelphia. no words that i write can describe the feeling i had inside the spectrum on saturday - it's like there was an electricity in the air and i wish i could somehow figure out how to have that feeling with my forever. it was a mixture of sadness, happiness, hope, and love. (just like every good pearl jam song). as i was telling someone today, before going to this concert i had absolutely no emotional connection to the wachovia spectrum - (in fact, i really only knew of it from all the time i spent on its website checking to see if tickets to this show had been released) - but by the time pearl jam played rockin in the free world and streamers and balloons were released from the rafters, i was crying. even days later, i have no desire to read other people's reviews of this show - i don't want anything to cloud my memories; i want them to stay mine forever.

so here are some of my other personal highlights from the show:

pilate - "this will fall into the category of stuff we hardly ever play or have never played and probably never will again. at least in this building." for me, what makes this song is the third verse - "stunned by my own reflection/looking back sees me too clearly/and i swore i'd never go there again." and i swear that at the end of the song, ed said something like, "given the encouragement, we'll play a lot of f*cked up stuff tonight." ha! that's for sure...

out of my mind - speaking of weird and random songs. it started with eddie telling a story about some mystery person who would give a large donation to something if only pearl jam would play this song, which isn't really a song at all, but an improv from a concert in 1994. 1994 also happens to be the year that i really started getting into PJ to the exclusion of everything else. i remember buying a copy of the not for you single that had this as a b-side, and listening to it over and over.

bugs - my seat for this show was on stone's side, about 5 rows up. i've never sat on the side of the stage like that, and it was pretty cool to be able to see the guitar techs, sound guys, band, etc.. were up to when they came offstage. i was also able to see every time someone took out what i assume is a stand for lyrics, and i knew that probably meant that something kind of rare was about to happen. so i saw that come out, and then i saw ed putting on an accordian and i kind of felt like i was dreaming. so cool.

amongst the waves - this was one song that i was hoping they'd save for tonight. after some initial reluctance, it has easily become my favorite track on backspacer. you know when ed sings "i can see the light/coming through the clouds in rays"? something about the combination of his voice and the music makes me want to close my eyes and live in that moment forever.

i'm open - can i count the number of times i have fallen asleep while listening to no code, and particularly this song? (and i mean that in a good way). actually, no, i don't think i can. no code remains my favorite pearl jam album precisely because of songs like this - songs that make me want to cry and smile and laugh and yell all at the same time. even after all these years, to me eddie's voice is a major force in my life; from the first time i heard him when i was 12 years old sitting in front of my television in bangor, maine, to now when i am almost 30 years old, it has not lost its power to make me feel at home.

rockin in the free world - "let's do this." it was during this song that the balloons and streamers were released from the rafters. the house lights came on, and there are simply no words to convey how awesome it was to be in the crowd, and to feel like i was sharing something really special and private with not only the band but all the people in the audience. for all the bad things one can say about the spectrum (it was confusing to find your way around, going to the bathroom during the break after the opening band literally took me half an hour because it was so crowded i couldn't even move), looking around at the crowd during the show literally made me cry from happiness. and i will not soon forget the expressions of joy that i could see and feel on the band's faces even from my seat.

there were so many moments from this night that will stay with me forever, and when i close my eyes i can still see them and can feel like i am there. what i saw is still settling in my mind, and i'm not sure that it will entirely sink in for awhile. from eddie coming out with boxing gloves, to jeff singing sweet lew while eddie dribbled a basketball, to the band dressing as devo and playing whip it, to mike playing the star spangled banner as a send-off to the spectrum, i am left with some awesome memories that make me want to nothing but dance around my house with a great big smile on my face.
















*edit: i totally can't believe i forgot lowlight and smile! sheesh! i have only been waiting since 98 to hear lowlight live. idiot, megan. please forgive me for my oversight pearl jam. now please play hard to imagine the next time i see you.

i want to live my life with the volume full

pearl jam, seattle (9/21 and 9/22) and portland (9/26)

i have seen this band live every tour since my first show in augusta, maine in 1996 and, while it's impossible for me to objectively rate their live performances (as an example, any other show i see, no matter how mindblowingly awesome, automatically ranks below every pearl jam concert), the three shows i saw last month have to be up there as among some of the best i've witnessed.

i've been trying to write about these concerts for 2 weeks, and nothing i can put on paper has come close to describing how i really feel. i'll try starting at the end this time: as a i type this, i am looking at the new picture frame next to my computer that contains a ticket stub and eddie vedder's guitar pick. in portland, my fanclub seats were in the 3rd row but, as it turned out, there were no seats in front of ours. so, basically we were in the front row. at the end of yellow ledbetter, in what is easily one of the best musically-related experience of my life, eddie pointed at me and handed me his pick. that moment was one that i won't forget, and i think the surreal feeling i had about the whole thing pretty much sums up these shows. for me, music is so much more than a fun diversion; it is honestly an essential part of my life. and days like this remind me just how true that is.

i'm not exaggerating when i say that there were multiple moments in all 3 of these shows that literally made my heart want to leap out of my body. i think it's pretty amazing that happens even after 16 years. i've had so many great pearl jam experiences this year, from seeing eddie in tennessee and hawaii to listening to backspacer with hundreds of other people on release day at easy street. yeah, i'm a pretty lucky girl.

feel the sky blanket you with gems and rhinestones

see the path cut by the moon
for you to walk on
pearl jam, unthought known


(the picture is a mural on the outside of easy street records in seattle)

i know i've been MIA for awhile - there have been a bunch of things i've wanted to write about, namely the flaming lips concert, and the band at bumbershoot whose guitarist was wearing a green river shirt.

but.. forget all of that. i am so excited about the new pearl jam album! it comes out sunday, but i got mine yesterday from the tenclub. i listened to it once last night, and all day today at work i was thinking, "man, i want to go home and listen to that CD again." it is an understatement to say that it is good. i honestly wasn't expecting to like it, much less to be blown away by it, since i haven't really been crazy nuts about a pearl jam record in about 10 years. (that is not to say that i haven't been completely won over every time i have seen them live. i have. that's why they've continued to be my favorite band. no musicians can come close to making me feel the way this band makes me feel. anyway).

maybe some of this is the newness of the record, but i haven't felt this excited about music in quite awhile. backspacer (i didn't like that name at first, but it has grown on me) has fast songs, it has slow songs and it has those gigantic pearl jam songs that make me want to cry and smile at the same time. all in 36 minutes. i'll write more about this record after i've had a while to digest it. there's a lot more here than what is on the surface, that's for sure.

and i'm going to see them 3 times next week! monday and tuesday in seattle and saturday in portland (well, near portland). i can't wait!

i'm feeling the pull...

some random notes on a sunday evening...

1. a friend told me about this thing called pandora radio, and i have been having way too much fun with it this week. you can make your personalized radio stations based on bands that you like. for instance, i have a pearl jam station, a minus the bear station, an REM station, a frames station, and an afghan whigs station. the whole thing is based on something called "the music genome project" which groups music that is similar, and so stations play artists that are relatively alike. my minus the bear station plays tons of band of horses and postal service (you can also tell it which songs you like, so that it plays those bands more often); and my REM station plays u2, wilco and radiohead. in short, i enjoy it and it's cool to have a visual aid that shows me how many of the bands i like sound like each other. it's a good way to pass the time until the new pearl jam album is released. :)

2. on tuesday, i went to see the cave singers at easy street where they did an in-store performance for the release of their new record. their songs are good for listening to on a cold, rainy night, and i am finding the singer's voice quite comforting. looking at their tour schedule, they are playing at bumbershoot and then again at neumos in october. i think i might have to be there.

3. i don't know why i didn't see this sooner, but i literally dropped everything i was doing when i read that the swell season did a set for npr's
tiny desk series and that video was online. i recommend that you do the same and watch it immediately. although, having said that, i must also say that i am a little underwhelmed by the "new" (many of which they played in concert last year) songs (save low rising and feeling the pull. i've listened to that one about 5 times). however, it is great to see them together again, and i am loving that glen is still playing his beat-up guitar. and i have missed hearing him say "brilliant." plus, they play an absolutely stunning version of when your mind's made up. i mean, wow. and, it's awesome to see their little sidelong glances and grins. i love watching musicians who are obviously loving playing their music. it makes me happy.

however, i will also say: dear swell season, please play in seattle. preferably at the moore theatre. love, megan

the waiting drove me mad

keep your head up kid

i know we can swim/ but you've gotta move your legs (pela, augustine)
the capitol hill block party 7/25/09




one of my favorite parts of living in seattle is all the summer festivals. even though they can be hot, sweaty and crowded, they are also, in my opinion, made of love. maybe i'm weird (and i'm quite certain that i am), but i enjoy wandering around aimlessly and getting lost in a crowd. i also really really enjoy discovering bands that are completely new to me but nonetheless re-ignite my excitement about live music (see: sleater kinney, minus the bear, blitzen trapper, kings of leon...) more on that later.

on saturday, i rarely had stretches longer than 15 minutes without music to listen to (not that it was always *good,* of course, but it was there). i also loved that, because i am over 21, i had the option of spending the hottest part of the day inside neumos, standing in front of a big fan and drinking free water (nothing beats free water).



my favorite band by far - and the one band i was really excited about seeing this year - was the thermals. they put on a great live show and never fail to put a smile on my face. hutch, the singer, doesn't talk much, which is actually kind of refreshing and their 3-minute long songs make for a really fast-paced show. they are also obviously fans of the early 90s - they played awesome covers of sappy by nirvana and basketcase by green day (full disclosure: both of which i was singing along with!) they ended with now we can see, and the song began with the drummer joining hutch and kathy for the hand-clapping part and then waving to the crowd before racing back to the drum set to play the rest of the song. the rain that had been threatening to fall also started during this song, and seeing live music while rain falls and breaks the heat wave is now crossed off my list of life goals. people all around me were like children, opening their mouthes and trying to catch some of the rain. it was great!

so now back to the band that i unexpectedly fell in love with - pela, who are from new york city. go figure that all the bands i enjoyed were ones that the stranger didn't like (unless it's a good thing to say that the "lead singer is a balloon... filled not with helium or pee but with serious emotions." uh, ok). i was kind of surprised to find that they have only been a band for a few years, because, honestly, the way that they played and fed off the crowd made it seem to me that they had been around forever. and while i was watching them, i decided that the kind of music i really love is rock n' roll that makes me smile and want to clap my hands - music that sounds like it was made to play in an outdoor ampitheatre on a hot summer night. kind of like - dare i say it? - pearl jam. if that is uncool, so be it. and, yes, i am comparing pela to my favorite band. the stranger would probably agree - after all, their description of pela's singer could easily be applied to eddie vedder.


upon further exploration, it seems that pela is a favorite at KEXP. (and where was i last summer when they played at one of the free shows at the mural ampitheatre? argh). there are no less than 3 in-studio performances to listen to, each one better than the last. i especially like the acoustic performance from this past may, which suggests to me that they may be coming out with a new album soon(!!) their tour page doesn't list any upcoming shows, but they seemed to like playing in seattle (the lead singer kept smiling at the crowd and said this is such a rock n' roll town! i love it!) and i hope they'll be back soon. i will definately be there.


be yourself, every one else is already taken - from the bathroom in neumos.

i need the beach to set me free

i need the wind to make me breathe
i need the water to wash my soul (pearl jam, santa cruz)

or, 2 girls, a gps navigator (aka the british man), a rental car, and eddie vedder.

words cannot express how much i loved hawaii.


this was my first ever mai tai on my first ever day in hawaii! i didn't really like it, but it made me feel good.

on my first full day in hawaii,we decided to drive to the north shore. there was a particular beach that kristine wanted to go to, but the parking lot was really full, so we just decided to keep going and ended up driving around the whole island! along the way, we stopped at random beaches, some of which turned out to be beautiful and out-of-the-way little spots. i couldn't get enough of walking in the sand and feeling the waves crash on my feet.



at one of the beaches, we even "saw" sea turtles. or, rather, saw people who had apparently seen said turtles. and, i couldn't get over all the people surfing! i've only seen surfers in magazines or on television, so it was pretty cool to see all the little dots in the distance and know what they were. even though i have never had any interest before, i think it would be kind of cool to go to the north shore during the big surfing competitions in the fall. wow! honestly, i could sit on the beach for hours listening to the water and be perfectly happy.

unfortunately, i don't have any pictures of the hawaii theatre since i left my camera at home the night of the eddie vedder show, but believe me when i say that it was *beautiful.* what was not beautiful, however, was getting lost after the show and having a tour of downtown honolulu at night. that was sort of scary, actually.

the next day, we went on a hike to the manoa waterfalls. i have never been covered in so much mud! but it was great. and i counted at least 3 people wearing eddie vedder shirts!



after our hike, we drove to kailua beach, where i entertained myself by watching a man bury himself in the sand, taking pictures of my feet, and marveling over the bluish-green color of the ocean. once again, i could have sat there all day. heck, i could still be sitting there and enjoying myself, i'm sure.



we finished the day by watching the sun set in waikiki.




the next morning, we got up early and climbed diamond head. i have never walked up so many stairs at once. but i'm glad i did - it was worth it, finally, at the top. my guide book said that, on a clear day, you can see the outlines of some of the other hawaiian islands in the distance. maybe it was just my imagination, but it almost seemed like i could. it almost seemed like you could see forever.



we also went to hanauma bay, which now ranks up there as one of the most gorgeous places i have ever been. it is now my goal to learn to swim so i can go back there and snorkel. we spent the whole afternoon there, lying in the sun and walking on the beach.



i wanna go back!!

rest of my pictures are here